So what's going on? A LOT! I've decided to declare this year of my life as "The Year of the Grown-Up." In June the Hubby and I will be traveling into the world of owning a home and in October we'll be embarking on the adventure of parenthood. It's quite exciting, scary, exhilarating and joyful all at the same time.
It's been so incredible to see how God has been orchestrating our lives and directing our steps. Back in July when we started trying to get pregnant, I found myself getting frustrated that it wasn't working right away. Was there something wrong with me? Was God upset? Were we not ready? All questions that I'm sure every woman has asked herself while trying to get pregnant. In February, when I felt like I was at the end of myself, I had it out with God. I told Him how I felt. I told Him I didn't understand why it seemed that every woman in my life was getting pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and even 5th child and we weren't getting anywhere.
That's when God opened my eyes. He showed me that there was more to raising a child than just making fun things for them, being that "cool" and "creative" mom and being pregnant. It was at that point that I realized that I had been selfishly wanting a baby. With much encouragement from my amazing Hubby and the reminder of God's truth, I realized it was in His hands. He wanted us to enjoy and take advantage of our present moments; to seize the opportunities to glorify Him in the present time. At that moment I surrendered and put my complete trust in God's providing hand. If He desired for us to have a child, then He would make that happen. After all, he is the Creator of life.
Little did I know, but at that moment in my time of prayer and complete desperation for God, I was already pregnant. On March 1st, I took a pregnancy test. Before the "allotted time" was even up to check the test, it began to reveal that I was indeed pregnant. I've never felt my heart beat so fast in my life. I was overwhelmed with joy, excitement and thankfulness. This child, as every child is, is truly a blessing from God. He moves in His own time and directs our steps. He is Beautiful. With every week, as I read what's happening to this beautiful child inside me, I'm blown away by God's attention to detail and love for every human being He creates.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb," Psalm 139:13.